How do I deal with my mother-in-law?

Q: I hate my mother-in-law. She's always here and she's driving me nuts. How do I keep her from coming over?

A: Threaten to divorce your spouse. You shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.

How do I get a girl to go down on me?

Q: How do I get a girl to go down on me?

A: Go down on her first.